Saturday, April 9, 2011

Not Even Death: Lenten Walk Day 28

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God, the Father.
-Colossians 3:17

Looking back, I can't help but wonder why things happened the way they did. I often would ask myself where was God in all that occurred. Why didn't He save me? Did He not care?

It's tough, to look back and not question His presence during my pain. I have to ask. My heart yearns to know. Why did He let things happen? What did I do wrong? Why did He watch as I made really bad choices? Why did He allow people to hurt me? When was He coming to save me?


Remove the stone. -John 11:29

My soul is riddled with pebbles, like the ones that sneak into your shoes. They rattle, noisy and painful, proclaiming their presence, taking up space. Heavy, as life adds more pebbles, one stone at a time, building, on a swamp, excuses, self-hate, self-destruction, ugliness, fear, sorrow, anger. Each stone carries a sick purpose. My back has slouched from the weight of my sins, my skin hanging and my eyes drooping.

He works slowly. I know now that He takes His time. He came after Lazarus' death, to show that in Him we will find life.

Even in death, the ultimate end, we will find life.

Only through Him.

Jesus Christ.

Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?

The glory of God.

How I long to see it, to be a witness to it and yet I may never know how it'll come about. I may never understand why? I may never know why?

But I believe.

And if I believe, then I am proclaiming that all that has been done was to show the glory of God.

Glory to God...

and to The Son...

The hardest part is letting go. All the questions, all the anger, the fetters bonding me from Him, my soul festering underneath the burial shrouds.

It's time to see the glimmer of light through the cracks, as He removes the stones, one by one. It's time to rise up when I feel the warmth and love only He can give. It's time to hear His voice shout for me, call out my name. It's time to obey, go.

and to the Holy Spirit.

Come to me, He says.

How can I not? I want to live. I don't want to be dead any longer. Who wants death after being reborn again?

Glory to God, who allows us to rise again after being defeated, who gives us a new opportunity to glorify Him. Get up, rise and take in the morning sun. Listen for His voice in the small of a breath or in the howling of the wind. He calls for His children. He calls us home. Our situation makes no difference to Him.

Not even death.

Jesus overcomes it all.

The Flower
Now cemented over
what was once planted in love
watered with rain
and warmed with the sun.
Now in darkness
blinded with soil
hardly to be washed
never to be seen.
If only an opening
a small crack can appear
and illuminate this life
a hint of light will do.
Not needing much
to feel a purpose in me
Don't even know how pretty
my petal colors are
But hoping to gain
a glimmer of Him
it's all I need
to be strengthened and grow.
Push through the crack
find a way out
lean towards The Son
and feel the rain again.
It'll only take a moment
it will be all that's needed
Although trampled or stepped on
I will feel The Son one last time.

God bless you!

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