Wednesday, June 8, 2011


No, we were not created with eyes in the back of our heads, nor the sides. We were not equipped with aerial view vision, x-ray vision. Our eyes are set to look in front of us, ahead of us and, every now and then, to the side.

And what do we see?


or garbage.

Pieces of garbage, thrown around at a parade, celebration, made magical, not by the confetti itself, but by how we see it.


And there's a whole lot of garbage in this world, spread around, making a mess.

But one man's garbage is another man's treasure.

And as the world leans on evil ways, punching holes into God's pretty world, we yell, plead the whys and the anger, disbelief, back-turning attitudes. We start to walk backwards, making what's in front of us smaller and smaller as we go.

And the smaller we see Him, the smaller He becomes in our hearts. Out of sight, out of mind.

Or as we say in spanish, ojos que no ven, corazon que no siente. (What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel.)

When we don't feel God in our hearts, we have a small view. A dwarfish perspective.

We have the short story version of the world around us, the short, truncated view of it all. But while all we see is the short story, we forget that God has written the novel. He has created the world that only He knows inside and out. Our perspective is so small compared to His. Our little world, the world we think we know is but a spec of light, a small star to the God who's fingers placed all the stars in the sky.

Confetti, garbage or star.


So how can we judge, ridicule, laugh, get angry, behave negatively towards other, towards ourselves, if we only have but one small window to look through?

He gave us two very small eyes. We don't have special visual powers, we don't have a huge view of the world. We just have what we see in front of us. It's humbling to know we can't see everything, that our visual perspective is so very small, that we only have but one choice for the rest of what we can't see; an utter need to trust in God. A blind leaping faith for His plan, His perspective. It is something we will never fully see in this life, but if we trust in His Eyes on the world then perhaps when it all ends we will have the ultimate view...

His face.

Now that must be a sight to behold.

God bless!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Faith and Thanksgiving


Such a small word. It's deceiving this word, small, one syllable. So easy to pronounce.


Kind of as small as that mustard seed.

But it yields, this small word. It can grow big but only if we tend to it.

In the low humming of the everyday, in the blaring alarm clock, the clicking start of the stove, the push, push, push to make it on time for the bus, the beep of the microwave, the sip of the coffee, the prep of the lunch and dinner menu, the light of the laptop, the watering of the plants, the bills and checkbook balancing, the sweeping, moping, washing and folding, the grocery lists, the hard attempts to establish nap time, the homework and afternoon snacks, the cooking, the feeding, bathing, the nightly stories and nighttime Amens, I aimlessly perform with this little grain of faith and, in the pauses between the commas of my day, I talk with Him.

Nothing special. Just talk, complain, praise, plead. Something. And those words, whispers, mind words, eyes-closed visions, can water my faith abundantly.

A small mustard seed with just a few drops of water.

I love You God!

And yesterday, at Mass, I stared at You on that cross, exposing all this love for me, and I waited for my turn to take in Your love, wondering how much so many of us take the Eucharist for granted. So I asked You to please help this grain of faith in me grow and in that instant my heart swelled, squeezing tears out of my eyes and I became impatient, although the homily was about how good it was to wait.

But I couldn't wait to have You, just as You have me. It takes a lot of faith to believe, truly believe, in what the Eucharist represents and I wanted to feel that belief so bad yesterday. I wanted to approach Your table and heartily receive that small piece of you and oh how the heart can burst just to even think about how that bread has become You. All promises from Your lips in that bread, all promises making my heart leap and my soul flourish. It is such a quick moment that can sustain You for life.

And as we talked to the Youth about the end of the world, for the first time I felt a slight joy at actually being able to die in this skin so that I may, as Paul so beautifully puts it, put on Love. I may actually sit with You, look at Your beautiful face, breath in all that is You and hear Your voice. This feeling is truly amazing and shocking but it is what it is.

I know I am not worthy of all Your promises Lord...but I thank You for allowing me to try and try again.

Thank You loving Father for:

183. the Eucharist
184. The Holy Spirit and how it dwells in us all
185. Your promises
186. the way You make the impossible possible
187. how we all can fall to our knees time and time again
188. Your love
189. this beautiful world You made for us
190. the ability to talk with You whenever, wherever
191. how You come through
192. Your presence in others
193. the people who encourage and inspire me
194. watching Your gifts grow
195. the ability to cultivate
196. the hands I use
197. and my mouth
198. for listening to me lovingly
199. the wind that makes trees dance
200. watching deer play
201. time
202. the differences
203. the moments of suffering
204. a past that I can use now for good

It's amazing how wonderful God is, and everyday I learn, feel, see something new. Faith, prayer, forgiveness, thanksgiving and love; these are the ingredients that can create unending JOY.

God bless!