Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Filling Up the Shrinking Spirit: Lenten Walk Day 24

I know people who's worlds get smaller at every turn. I've seen their heartbreak, their struggle, their denial. Walls close in on them every so often and they anger at the world, blaming The One. They don't acknowledge the good He's given them, but they are more than ready to point a finger at Him for all the bad in their lives.

I know a lot of people like this.

I was once one of these people.

Thank God that He's turned my heart around. Nothing is more healing than His Touch, His Word, His Body and Blood. When my heart was open to face Him in this way, when my ears were ready to listen and my sight was returned to me I could no longer blame Him. He did everything He could to save me. All He needed was for me to accept His saving.

On Sunday, as I was talking to what seemed like despondent and unreceptive teens, I began to cry. I have something in my heart that I wanted to share with them, and they didn't care, didn't want to be there. I was placing my all on the table so that they may see how good Jesus feels in one's soul and they just shrugged their shoulders.

And so, I'm assuming I had a slight taste of how The Son must feel when we dismiss Him, when we sin against Him. He's hurt and sad. I'm sure He cries because He loves us so much. When I think of it this way I feel ashamed and unworthy.

How could I hurt Him so?

These little sacrifices we make, we think they are so big, so inconvenient. We drag our feet, we complain, we shout and scream, we become selfish. Nevertheless, these tiny little sacrifices we make are so small next to the cross.

They are so small next to the cross.

So very small.

St. Therese of Lisieux said do small things with great love for God and others.

And Sister Josita said I am watering those seeds with my tears.

I hope so, because this whole world needs You Jesus. It is broken and suffering and only You can fix it through us.

So here I am Lord. Keep showing me what needs to be done.

God bless!

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