Friday, April 8, 2011

My Justification for God: Lenten Walk Day 27

I don't know for sure if it is the way I am now seeing things. It breaks my heart each time I encounter it and I have to admit, I want to fight back, but I can't and I won't.

I'll just remain still, whisper prayers to God so that He can remove my hurt and instill in me a sense of calm and peace. With His peace I can sit through anything.

I know that many people are not here, where I'm at right now, and that's okay. I respect that. I am no one to judge how other's run their lives because I too was not here once. I just arrived...but I am here to stay. I feel it in every fiber of my being. I don't want to turn around to the dark, cold world I once lived. I don't want tiny seconds of high and jubilation all to come crashing down hard in my soul. I don't want temporary bliss only to feel it scorch when things return to horrible normal. Here, right now, I feel free and happy.

Happy.

I hadn't used that word in a very long time. Now I feel it in my bones. This happiness creeps up my skin and stretches my lips into an ear-to-ear smile. It crawls up to my eyes and wrinkles them joyful. These days I recognize the feeling. I love it. I would hate to see it go away.

So here is where I stay.

And with this happiness, with those gifts of peace and His never-ending love, I can face any attacks against God, His Word, His teachings and His Church. I will stay put. I will close my eyes. I won't fight. No philosophies, no reasons, nothing. I told you before, I don't know much, my knowledge isn't vast; only my love for Him. I'll keep where I am, still.

Keeping still, because I know He is God (Psalm 46:10).

This is my argument. This is my answer. It is all I can say and for me, it is heavy enough. I just need to know Him, to love Him and it is all the justification I need.

Here's a song that A Holy Experience blogged about today. I kept listening to it over and over because it hits so close to home for me. Enjoy. Lyrics below.


How Emptiness Sings
by Christa Wells

Brother, he’s suffered like a tree taken down
Wept as he witnessed his dreams carved out
And how can a man just keep walking around
With his heart full of holes

But ooh,
His bow is on the strings
And the tune resonates in the open space
To show us how emptiness sings:

Glory to God, Glory to God!
In fullness of wisdom,
He writes my story into his song,
My life for the glory of God.
Hmm, hmmm

Sister carries her loneliness
In a hidden hollow inside her chest
And sometimes all that she wants is an end
To the long, long night

But ooh,
Her bow is on the strings,
And the tune resonates in the open space
To show us how emptiness sings:

Glory to God, Glory to God!
In fullness of wisdom,
He writes my story into his song,
My life for the glory of God.
Hmm, hmmm

I haven’t been asked yet to walk the hard roads
Still there’s a sense of deep loss in my soul
In the middle of a party, I’ll just want to go
Home.

But ooh,
My bow is on the strings,
I’m beginning to learn where to find the words
To the song that emptiness sings
Ooh, bow is on the strings:

Glory to God! Glory to God!
This is how emptiness sings, oh,
This is how emptiness sings
Hmmm, hmmm
~~~~~~~~~~~

God bless!

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