I originally set up this blog as a place to vent my feelings about motherhood, being a daughter, friendship, etc. I called it Fingerprints for Liani because I thought that sounded sweet. I left it standing for a bit with one entry (since removed) to see where my motivation to write would take me.
Months pass by...nothing.
But this week, particularly on Tuesday changed all of that.
I belong to a mom's group at my parish. I've only been attending a little less than a year, but from the beginning it felt like home. These women are from all walks of life, different cultures, different experiences, but we all manage to come together under one strong bond, our love of Christ. With time, we became friends and have embarked on a few things here and there to bring us together beyond our twice a month get-togethers. In my opinion, we are drawn to each other and truly look forward to being with one another. I've made these meetings a priority. It recharges my spiritual battery.
Well, this particular meeting brought on some very heavy emotions. A young man from the community decided to take his own life. Many of the teens came together in solidarity and wore all black to school the next day. Many also came to Sunday Mass to mourn, to be together, and perhaps, even, to be with God. We also discovered that one of the pioneer moms (I unfortunately didn't know her but many in the group did) passed away this past summer and we had no idea. The room felt heavy as we tried to not only cope with our feelings of guilt and sorrow, but with a drive to not allow both tragedies to repeat themselves. We obviously can't control natural death, but we can help prevent a suicide and we can definitely be there to help the mourning families of someone who leaves us all too soon.
So the gears are in motion.
With heavy hearts, we are all together walking in this great big valley. It feels like God placed us there so that we can help bring those that are stuck in the darkness into the light. Perhaps, we ourselves belong there because we have our own darkness to combat. God threw us in there for a reason. We’re working towards the climb with as many people in tow. Who can we pull out of the rubble?
On that note, I was listening to a radio segment last night about a gentlemen who happened to be in Haiti one year ago when the earthquake occurred. He was in a hotel when it all happened. Upon looking around at the devastation, he knelt down, thinking this was where he would die and called for The Lord. The gentleman realized that in these last years, although he called himself a Christian, he was distant from God. Prayer became an obstacle; the relationship strained due to everyday life and other worldly distractions. He asked for forgiveness, he asked for mercy and he felt Jesus right beside him. Jesus granted him all these things and more. He gave this gentleman a new opportunity at life, physically and best of all, spiritually. Fr. Tom, our parish pastor, once said that God takes every opportunity to bring us closer to him. It put events like these into a whole new perspective.
So who can we pull out from under this rubble? Well I will start with me. I’m under the rubble of the “100+ things I need to do everyday,” or the “I’m too tired to play with my daughter right now,” or the “I know my husband and kids love me. I don’t need to say it or show it.” So many heavy rocks that are weighing me down and not allowing me to see the light. We live in a world of gravity. Life WILL weigh you down. There’s only one way up.
Fingerprints for Liani. Now I know why I named it this way. How else will my daughters find themselves? If I’m going to leave something for them, I want it to lead them straight to Him. We all leave fingerprints on everything we touch. Let’s lead a trail out of this valley to the top of this mountain. Sunrises and sunsets look better from up there.