Lent 2013: Ashes, ashes and dirt and dust

I need saving.
Sometimes it's good to say things more than once, so...

I, Ivy, need saving.
Everyday, I need to be saved.

Because if I didn't believe that, feel that, know it, then I wouldn't need a savior, want one.
And I want Jesus.
I do.

My soul needs dusting sometimes. Other times it needs a major clean-up. I don't mean to be so messy, but life just trods through with muddy boots and though I attempt to clean the mess, the footprints stay embedded, reminding me constantly of those dirty moments, those muddy walks I took. My mess, my past is overwhelming. There's no way I can clean up a mess like that. I was never made for these circumstances.

And you should see me when I'm in a mess. I'm not happy. I'm pacing back and forth. I'm looking for ways to make this easy. I'm planning out my escape from facing it. My mess gets messier by the minute. I find the only way to clean up this kind of mess is by walking into a confessional.

Letting God in to clean up.
He loves to dust me off, wipe the stains clean, sweep away any worries. I am brand new. Cleansed.

Think what you want. This is my way of healing and has been for the rest of my family for over two thousand years. It's the only way that healed. This life, I thought was mine to control. My destiny, my dreams. Somewhat true. But they are nothing but dust and dirt if I don't recognize that without God those wishes will have no weight. So sad, as Jesus puts it, to gain the whole world and lose your soul. For when I die, I can't take my worldly dreams with me.

And because I love love love God, nor do I want to.


So this beginning of Lent, as the ashes are placed on my forehead  as I am reminded that from dust I was created and to dust I shall go, I will remember who lifted me up from dirt...

and He who will lift up this soul when this life is done.

God bless!

A Habit of Love: Whom do you wear?

Matthew 16:13-20

I love to dress up.

I don't have a particular designer that I'm devoted to but if I find an article of clothing that I love I must have it. No matter the price. I have a certain style and my clothes display my personality even my mood that particular day. Some say the clothes make the man (in my case, woman). I guess my clothes say I am a relaxed person, sometimes a bit adventurous, other times calm and straightforward. Somedays my clothes say, "Hey, look at me," and other days my clothes say, "Too tired to look at myself." What you wear can sometimes indicate what type of person you are on any given day.

In today's gospel, Jesus askes His apostles,

"Who do you say that I am?"

This evening, I spent time with two Sisters of the Servants of the Lord and Virgin Matará. Their mission is to bring Christ to everyone, through everything. Even a simple appearance at a baseball game should bring evangelization because their mere presence should remind us all of the presence of Christ in our midst. For the women and men who've been called to cloth themselves for the Lord, it is very easy for all to see that they have a special relationship with God. But what is my habit? How do people know whether I have a special relationship with God?

St. Paul famously answers that when he suggest we put on love.

Wear Love in and out, making sure others see Love, not me. Love using me to spread, to nurture, to feed and cloth, to hug and speak kind words, to pray and pray for, to wipe away tears and dance for joy, to receive and be received, to forgive effortlessly and embrace with unending mercy.

Dress myself in His love, Who is Love. Nothing forceful, nothing glitzy. Simple yet glorious Love.

I guess we can all ask ourselves the following; if people encounter me, will my actions tell them who Jesus is? Can they see His light, or have I lost some credibility through how I behave or what I fail to do? Who do I say Jesus is? How do I say it? How do I demonstrate to others that Jesus is my Lord and Savior and the only begotten Son of God?

What is your habit? Does it say who Jesus is to you? Can others see your relationship with Him without a word exchanged? Who we say Jesus is, and how we say it, is important. He gave us the task of spreading His story, His love so that the world can come to know Him. He needs us to put on Love.

We just need people to see Jesus in us. He takes care of the rest.


God, You know how imperfect I am. My heart has good intentions, but my actions, sadly, fall short. I want to glorify myself when I should be looking for ways to glorify You. I want others to see me, when I should show them You through my actions and words. I wish for the courage to hand my life over to You, yet I find it so hard to let go of all the things I easily denounce by words but not by moves. I lack trust, sometimes even interest. I fail at my attempts to do for You by doing very little or nothing at all. Help me to show You to the world in everything I do, whether it's helping someone in a time of need, being there for my family and friends, teaching others about You, even through a simple smile or hello or the way I carry myself and, yes, even in how I dress. In my weakness and shortcomings, I ask that You supply what I lack, increase my love and faith in You, enhancing my relationship with You when I am alone as well as in the presence of Your people. I am thankful for Your love and kindness and am aware that all that I do can never amount to all that You've done and continue to do. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

God bless!

Lenten Walk 2012: Day 1 — Choosing Silence

Today marks the beginning of Lent. Ash Wednesday; where Catholics all over the world bear the mark in ash of the sign most precious to our our salvation, the cross.

I was battling a bit with my sacrifice, trying to decide what I'd give up for lent. About a few months ago I wished that I could take a silent retreat; just remain quiet, not say a word. I wanted to take advantage of my silence to become more observant, to remain silent so I can hear God. But it's hard to stay quiet as a mom of two. I find it hard to communicate with others without saying a word. I wished to become silent, but I retracted out of fear.

So my dear Lord, the founder of the true wish foundation, granted me my wish.

I got strep throat; and so my voice is gone. It hurts to even whisper.

So there you have it, my Lenten sacrifice for 2012. Minimal talking. I say minimal because there will be times where I will need to talk, but I'm hoping that in being silent I can listen more, learn more.

God gave us two ears and one mouth.

That must mean something right?

God's Love is More than Enough

Ever watch that show Hoarders? The people on this show are trapped in their own homes because it's full of stuff they can't get rid of. Some collect things to fill a void, letting it get too far. Some realizing that the objects they've gathered have brought nothing but sadness instead of reprieve from their pain. Others remain in denial. Either way, it's sad to see them struggle to change, realizing that all they've amassed, all they have around them, doesn't allow them to live freely.

Although some of us are not that extreme, many of us, including myself, can agree that we do store a lot of junk. Clothes that no longer fit, toys no one ever plays with, books already read, etc. Our lives can get pretty crowded, with objects that have sentimental value or things we just don't have it in our hearts to throw away. I can admit great joy in buying a new electronic or brand new shoes. For a moment I am content that I have something new, I feel blessed. God is good, especially when I can get a new car.

But is God also good if, say, my car gets stolen, or I am in a terrible accident while driving it?

The answer is yes.

It is true that God continually blesses us and wants us to be happy and safe, but our happiness, our worth, shouldn't come from the things we have or don't have. Our worth comes from within, from what's in our hearts and what comes out of our hearts. The things we say along with the things we do, are what really make us who we are. If we have nothing in this world but our breath, God is still very good because it is what's inside that counts for Him.

I had the pleasure of meeting a gentleman who travels a lot to South America and spends time in a hospital for sick children. Most of these kids have been abandoned by their families because they were ill and either couldn't afford to pay medical bills or, sadly a reality, think that their child's sickness is a curse and so they leave them at the hospital never to return. This particular hospital takes them in to care for them, basically giving most of them a home. There was one little girl with stomach cancer that this gentleman friend of mine grew very fond of. Every morning, to wake up, to sit up, to eat, and get dress was a trial for her, and yet, when she finally managed to rise and continue her day, she always wore a smile, was always ready to play and enjoy her day. This gentleman said he'd never met such a brighter soul, despite all that she lacked in the world, possessions, a home, her health, even her family, but she always had a reason to smile.

What a great testimony to God's glory, coming through in such a dire situation. To have very little, and still find a reason to smile. The Old Testament tells of a similar story, Job, the man who had everything but all was taken away. Job had to learn that God's love isn't equated to the amount of what we have around us. God's love comes in abundance and is the only possession we can boast about. Everyone has an equal amount of His tender love and mercy because no matter what He's chosen to give us, no matter who has more than who, He can't help but love us all the same.

Let's all give thanks to God for all we have and for all we don't have; for who we are, and for who we aren't. Tomorrow may bring on many different adventures, but God's love for you will always remain the same. Let's give Him, and in turn, our neighbor, all the love we have in our hearts. Let's show the world what really matters to us and to Him; how much love we have for God and for one another.

God bless!